failcatfails: ibeggedformercytwice: ...

26th February 2012

ibeggedformercytwice:

allofthistwattage:

inheritanceofgeek:

oscarstardis:

moriartythedancingqueen:

idruggedyourcoffeejawn:

lesbianteenager:

demonfeathers:

thattardiskey:

oh-hello-there-pretty:

saintdoriangray:

ishiila:

underlordwynt:

thisissarcasm:

penworthy:

tiffari:

opera4breakfast:

misswallflower:

This made me so sad.

Oh fuck.

I really, really think so. And I’m so happy to be able to say that.

Weird, this thought actually crossed my mind today, but in a slightly different form. To be honest, my 8 year old was an insecure mess who couldn’t stand up for herself for shit and literally had no friends. I like to think she’d be proud of me… someone who’s not afraid to state her beliefs, is comfortable with herself, and has a large of group of close friends. Even a best friend. Of course my math and science grades are shitty so maybe she wouldn’t like me that much.

To be honest, I don’t think 8 year old me would recognize adult me, because that version of me is a completely different human being. 8 years old? That was the calm before the storm. I imagine that 8 year old me wouldn’t know what to do with grown up me, but you know what? All I need to do to make the child in me happy is open up the file of the things I’ve written - novels, short stories, fics - and let her see how far she’s come. And yeah, I think that little brat that put pen to paper and wrote a story about a magic carrot would be pretty damned proud.

Well shit.

I honestly don’t think so.

At all.

Not at all. I never imagined myself to turn out like this—EVER.

Yeah. She fucking would thank you very fucking much. :)

8-Year-Old me was insecure, had maybe one friend and a whole bunch of people she wished she could be friends with. 8-Year-Old me was completely in love with four series of books and didn’t know a single person her age that had heard of more than one of them.

So, yeah, I think she’s be proud of me. Because I’m still in love with fantasy, still lose myself in nonexistent worlds, but at the same time, I have friends to walk with me on the way, and I know who I am in a way that she never did.

I don’t think she would, but honestly, that makes me proud as fuck. 8-year-old me thought my parents were always right and that a woman needs to have class and be a certain way to be a ‘woman.’ Now, I know that my parents aren’t always correct. Wanting to be a writer doesn’t make a ‘fag,’ being gay isn’t going to send someone to hell, not wearing a skirt every day doesn’t make me any less of a woman and standing up for my goddamn self is a good thing.

You know what? Yeah. She would balk at some things, I think, but where I’m going in life? What I’ve managed to accomplish so far? Yeah, she’d be proud. Happy.

No. When I was eight, I didn’t know what being gay meant, but I thought it was wrong.

Probably not, ‘cause I used to be super outgoing and had tons of friends, and now I can’t seem to keep hold of friends, as well as having developed a crippling shyness. Also, I’d probably be disappointed because I’ve cut all of my hair off - it was about bum-length when I was eight, and it was my pride and joy. I’d be happy that my teeth aren’t fucked any more, probably a bit annoyed that I wear glasses, but hopefully really pleased that I’m still writing and want to write as a career, even if it’s not poetry any more. I’d be annoyed that I’m a hopeless romantic and only ever went out with complete tools, but I’d probably be happy that I cry a lot less, and don’t take as much shit. Mixed bag, really.

8 year old me would probably be like, wait… we read gay porn now?

8 year old me wanted to be a dinosaur wizard

I don’t think I can ever live up to my own expectations

8 year old me had no friends as they had all left to live in other countries. She also promised to never stop loving Pokemon, even if the other kids teased her for it. So in that sense, yeah, she’d be fucking proud! On the other hand, at 17 I am not running my own Gym in Johto soooooo………

Does it matter? The whole point of being a human is the fact that you change, you learn, you grow and you live your life. Every single person on earth will be a very different person now from when they were 8. I mean Jesus I am only 20 but I have already changed so much , especially these past few years. I don’t care if the 8 year old me would be proud of me, because all that matters is now, and I am proud of the person I am in this moment and I will be proud of the person I am when I am 25, 30, 40 etc. Don’t torture yourself with shit like this. Just get on with life.

In all honesty? She would loathe my very guts and would be disappointed with me greatly. The eight year old me was an intellect. A girl with hopes and dreams. She never let anybody interrupt her studies. She brushed off the bullied. Ignored people and was independent. She acted when she wanted and did whatever she believed in or liked and wasn’t going to change for no man, woman or child. She prided herself on her intelligence and maturity. Her advanced reading age and useless knowledge. The way she was able to read people. Push things aside like they meant nothing to her. Mainly because they did mean nothing to her.

If she saw me… she would sneer at my very being and everything that she would become. If she had any sense she would avoid it and erase me completely.

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff NO.